Showing posts with label sexual pleasure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual pleasure. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Female sexuality today: challenging cultural repression

wome's sexualityIn the first millennium B.C.E., human cultures clearly experienced an Axial Period in a striking transformation of human consciousness. The transformation occurred independently in three geographic regions: in China, in India and Persia, and in the Eastern Mediterranean, including Israel and Greece. In this cultural transformation, a prevailing mythic, cosmic, ritualistic, collective consciousness embedded in a tribal matrix with the female in the foreground slowly gave birth to a male-dominated, rational, analytical, individualistic consciousness. This transition in cultural values began very slowly, after the last Ice Age retreated, with the discovery and spread of agriculture, the domestication of animals, and primitive forms of writing, metallurgy, and the wheel (Francoeur, 1996; Gupta, 1987; Jasper, 1953; Lawrence, 1989).

In both the East and West, the earlier primacy of female sexual archetypes and values gradually weakened over millennia, until they were finally supplanted by patriarchal societies and religions. In the East, Confucius and LaoTzu, the Upanishadic sages, Mahavira, and the Buddha in India continued to speak of the importance of women as sexual teachers and their active role in ritual sexual union. This ancient recognition of women's superior capacity for sexual pleasure (bhogo) is evident in Tantric Yoga (Francoeur, 1992ab; Stubbs, 1999) and in the Kamasastra and Anaga Ranga (Hindu erotics). The persistent Eastern affirmation of female sexuality is beautifully illustrated in the 85 "Love Temples" built a thousand years ago in Eastern, South, and Central India. A favorite of many who have visited and studied these temples is an exquisite sculpture on the south wall of the Mahadeva Temple in Kajuraho showing two women supporting a man symbologically standing on his head. The man is caressing their vulvas as a third women sits atop him enjoying vaginal intercourse (Deva, 1986-1987, 176; Francoeur, 1992ab).

In the more sexually dichotomous-thinking West, female sexual archetypes were more quickly and completely replaced by male-defined and dominated archetypes. Still, during this Axial Period, a Jewish tractate in the Babylonian Talmud, echoed later in an Islamic creation myth, tells us that "Almighty God divided sexual beauty/pleasure into ten parts. Nine parts he gave to women. One part he gave to men" (Brooks, 1995; Kiddushin daf 49B). In Greek mythology, when Zeus and Hera argued whether males or females had a greater capacity for sexual pleasure, Tiresias, who had experienced half of his life as a man and the other half as a woman, maintained that when it came to the capacity for sexual pleasure, women were by far the winners.

However, in the West, a major factor in the radical shift in gender power from females to males was the emergence of male-biased monotheistic Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and the gradual dominance of male-controlled monogamy. For at least 3,500 years, from the First Axial Period in the millennium before the Common Era, sexual values in both the East and West have favored the male, restricted sexual communications between the sexes, and repressed the sexual rights and expression of women (Francoeur, 1992ab; Francoeur & Noonan, 2004; Lawrence, 1989; Prescott, 1975).

In the view of theologian Ewert Cousins (1981), we are now passing through a Second Axial Period. For centuries, forces have been building up, which Cousins and others believe are now reaching a watershed turning point. For a second time in human culture, the balance of gender power is being challenged on a global scale. New sexual codes are evolving. Worldwide, we are shifting from a heterosexual-marital-coital-procreative value system to friendship-and-pleasure-based values. But to create more gender-egalitarian cultures, we need to deal with the repression of female sexuality, the subject of this paper (Bockle & Pohier, 1976; Ehrenreich, et al., 1987; Fisher, 1999; Francoeur, 1996; Francoeur & Noonan, 2004, 1373; Ogden, 1994).

Our evidence of a Second Axial Period comes from 12 years of research and analysis of sexual attitudes and behaviors in 60 countries, working with 280 colleagues (Francoeur & Noonan, 2004, 1373-1376). In almost every country we reported on, we found a variety of new developments where women are challenging the patriarchal view of sexuality at the same time they are expressing and asserting their own self-defined sexual rights and needs. Why should we focus on enhancing the sexual rights and health of women when achieving gender equality in economics, the law, and politics appears more compelling? Enhancing sexual intimacy is "political only because it is so profoundly and fundamentally personal."* Our hypothesis is that expanding and enhancing women's knowledge of their own sexual nature and sexual response potential will contribute to an enriched, more egalitarian intimacy with their sexuoerotic partners, in keeping with the expanding human self-awareness and consciousness.

There are numerous, widely acknowledged examples of the ongoing repression of female sexuality in East and West cultures. Our focus here is on examples of secular and religious repression of female sexuality outside Western Euro-American cultures. While our examples deal with women's sexuality, it is obvious that customs and taboos that inhibit and repress female sexuality also negatively affect male sexual pleasure.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Myths about Female Sexuality


This section looks at a few of the myths that surround female sexuality. It includes questions you may want to reflect upon, whether you're male or female.

Myth: Women's sexual feeling are not as strong as men's.

Fact: Women's sexual feelings can be every bit as strong as men's. Their desire or drive for sex can be just as powerful and their sexual pleasure can be, as well.

A woman's clitoris contains as many nerves as the head of a man's penis, but in a much smaller area, so the sensations she feels there can be very intense. Some women also enjoy multiple orgasms, whereas this is less common among men.

Every woman is different, and it's also normal to have times when sexual feelings are very strong and other times when they're less so.

How has this myth about women's sexual feelings affected you? How do you feel about it after reading this section? What could you do to reduce this myth's impact on you?

Myth: Women like it hard and fast.

Fact: In real life, women seldom complain about their partners not being hard and fast enough. They do, however, often comment that they'd like to feel more "connected" with their partners and they'd like more tenderness and slow, gentle touching all over their bodies.

This softer, slower style can also be extremely pleasurable for the man and take away the pressure to "perform."

As in all areas of sexuality, there are important differences among individuals and what a particular woman enjoys will normally vary from occasion to occasion. This is an important area where couples need to communicate.

How has this myth about what women want affected you? How do you feel about it after reading this section? What could you do to reduce this myth's impact on you?

Myth: Most women don't masturbate.

Fact: According to most surveys, about two-thirds of women masturbate at some time in their lives. They may do so to relax, to get to sleep, and for various other reasons. They may engage in self-pleasuring whether or not they have a partner.

Most women who masturbate have orgasms through masturbation, and some research indicates that these orgasms tend to be more physically intense than those they have with a partner. This may be because the absence of a partner enables them to focus on their own pleasure.

Many women have their first orgasms through masturbation and then go on to have them with a partner as well. They may also incorporate self-pleasuring into sex with a partner.

How has this myth about self-pleasuring affected you? How do you feel about it after reading this section? What could you do to reduce this myth's impact on you?

Myth: A woman needs to have an orgasm to feel satisfied.

Fact: Many women, whether they normally have orgasms or not, can be very satisfied without an orgasm. On the other hand, a woman who has an orgasm may be satisfied physically but not emotionally.

The best way to determine whether your partner is satisfied is to ask her how she's feeling and whether there's anything she needs or wants.

How has this myth about women's need for orgasms affected you? How do you feel about it after reading this section? What could you do to reduce this myth's impact on you?

Myth: "Vaginal orgasms" are better than "clitoral orgasms."

Fact: This is a meaningless distinction, as the clitoris is always involved in triggering orgasms in women, even though a woman may experience orgasms that feel very different from each other.

We know that the clitoris extends much further into the body than originally thought, and this may be why women sometimes feel an orgasm in the vagina more strongly than in the glands or head of the clitoris.

In most cases the clitoris is not stimulated by vaginal penetration, so orgasm is much less likely to occur through intercourse than through stimulation with the hands or mouth.

Again, different women have different needs and preferences for stimulation. Discussion with your partner or showing your partner what you like can help him or her learn how to please you more.

How has this myth about orgasms affected you? How do you feel about it after reading this section? What could you do to reduce this myth's impact on you?



Myth: When a woman says "no" she really means "maybe." You just need to pressure her more.

Fact: This is clearly not true. The law regarding sexual assault makes it very clear that to proceed in sexual activity without your partner's consent is a crime, whether your partner is male or female.

A full discussion of sexual assault is beyond the scope of this program; suffice it to say that it's important for both partners to communicate what they want and don't want. The "Communication" section of this program will help you learn how to do that.

If you have questions about sexual assault, call your local sexual assault centre or visit this web site: www.sace.ab.ca.

How has this myth about saying "no" affected you? How do you feel about it after reading this section? What could you do to reduce this myth's impact on you?

The women's movement has encouraged a greater atmosphere of openness about women's sexuality than existed previously, but the myths we've mentioned here still have a powerful effect on women and men alike.

We would encourage you to be aware of the myths and try to determine what is true about sexuality and sex for you, examining and trusting your own values, feelings and experience. You may find it very beneficial if there is someone you can talk to about these things honestly and openly without fear of being judged.
 
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